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Top Ten Exercises to Become a Better Horseman...
>>
10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away.
Shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"
>>
9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the
fall."
Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.
>>>
8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a
$200 check without even looking down.
>>>
7. Jog long distances carying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and
tell the neighbors what you are doing; they might as well know now.
>>
6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice
pulling
to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.
>>>
5. Hone your fibbing skills: " see, hon. moving hay bales is
FUN!"
and, "no, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and
multi-million
dollar horse won the blue ribbion. I am just thankful that my
hard work and actual ability won me second place"
>>>
4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms
paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a
frisky horse.
>>>
3. Borrow the U.S. Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be:
bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled,frozen...
>>
2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive
riding clothes and repeat to yourself," this is a learning
experience,
this is a learning experience, this is..."
>>>
1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE
TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN:
Marry money.
